Over the last decade of being a realtor, I have heard time and time again a client or friend telling me about an argument or disagreement he recently had with his neighbour. Whether it be due to parking, noise, fences or pools almost everyone eventually does have a little issue with their neighbour. In most cases and over time things tend to smooth themselves out. But here are a few pointers that can help you in controlling the situation with your neighbour and coming to an amicable solution.
Say Calm/Peaceful
It is extremely easy to get insulted quickly, argue or get mad at your neighbour for telling you that your kids are too noisy or that your significant other does not know how to park the car. The best advice we can give you is to stay calm, listen to your neighbour and before responding, take a few seconds to cool off and think about which event he might be referring to or why he might be telling you this. If you answer quickly and in a state of anger or shock you might start an argument simply based on the fact that you are insulted whether than if your significant other really doesn’t know how to park. By taking a step back you will decompress and answer respectfully.
Offer A Solution
Most times when two people have a disagreement, no one thinks of offering a solution to the problem, but rather the “blamed” usually just lashes out in reciprocity and tells their accuser of the things that they do wrong. Think of it… your neighbour tells you that your kids were very loud on Sunday evening in the pool and it’s a recurring pattern, and instead of offering a solution to this issue, you tell your neighbour that if he does not like it, he can stay inside. The frustration we mentioned above in point one makes for the wrong answers. Instead of arguing back, try offering your neighbour a solution such as. “Alright Jack, i’ll try to have the kids in by 9pm next sunday. Won’t promise you anything but let’s give it a shot.” Even though you do not want to take your kids in at 9:00pm, it gives you time to go inside, discuss with your partner and see what the best course of action would be to make sure you can both live in harmony.
Be Direct / Remain Polite.
A huge issue in most conversations with neighbours is a lack of honesty or hesitation in explaining exactly what happened. A great way to make sure that your point is made and understood is by speaking directly. Do not be shy to tell your neighbour what is bothering you, why it bothers you and when it began, so long as you can remain polite in telling your side of the story, being direct and up front about an issue is the best way to start the conversation.
Listen.
Lastly, We believe that if everyone would simply take the time to really listen to what their neighbour is concerned about, it might help them spark the realisation that it is true and that a solution is actually merited. Sometimes being patient enough to listen to your neighbour, sit back and understand exactly what the issue may be can make all the difference.
We hope that our tips/tricks help you and your neighbours live in perfect harmony, but also remind you that these tips and tricks in no way constitute legal advice. Should you feel you need legal advice, we recommend you contact your lawyer.
